Putting This Puzzle of Life Together

I’m writing this blog post because if I don’t put all of this out there I will end up tossing and turning (again) all night. Not that it ended up being so bad, I got some things figured out at around 2:30 this morning, but I feel like I need some clarity and encouragement so here goes.

Back at the beginning of December I wrote about a few things that kind of came together all at once and got me thinking… I also wrote “I’m 40, now what?” in which I questioned where I’m at in life and where I want to be. Fast forward to this week, I’ve figured out and actually defined what I really want to do – now it’s just a matter of diving in.

I don’t want to give away too much, but I’ve realized over the last several months that I need to start doing things that I am really passionate about again. I’ve also realized that my passion and purpose have shifted over the years and I’m finally trying to embrace it and continue to grow. I think I wrote in the “I’m 40” blog post about feeling stunted and I know I’ve said before I feel stifled. I’ve struggled a lot with what to do with this website and people telling me they love my writing and I should start doing it regularly again. I’ve heard this from many people for years. I loved writing, I think I’m out of practice and not as quick as I used to be, but that’s more from lack of doing it than lack of ability. It’s like exercise, you have to keep flexing that muscle or it gets weak. I also love the connections I made with people when I used to write a lot. I loved making people laugh and getting a reaction with this website. My passion isn’t with ragging on celebrities anymore though, it hasn’t been for a while. I think there is much more important work to be done, things I can actually write about and talk about that are important and positive.

I think most of us go through periods of life where certain aspects are thriving and others are lacking. We can have career successes and be broke at the same time, we can have a super fun social life but feel lonely at home. We can have financial security and a happy family but feel bored and unfulfilled. I can’t even really put into words how I’ve been feeling lately, I appreciate all that I have and where I’m at, but some of the things that used to challenge and excite me are just not doing it for me anymore. I somehow need to take leap of faith and try something new and outside of my comfort zone.

I started listening to some podcasts over the last couple of weeks. Some of them honestly I couldn’t stand for more than few minutes, but I found one that I’m now hooked on. They’re organized, relatable but not cliche, they’re experienced and I totally feel like I want to email them and ask them to be my friend. Seriously, you should check them out. It’s called The Mom Hour and I’ve listened to a few episodes and ended up picking one tonight that spoke to me even more. The hosts were talking about how they started their podcast about 2.5 years ago with the vision of growing it and expanding to become a network. It took them nearly 2 years to get to a point where they finally brought new people and podcasts on board. Now they’re expanding even more and they talked about how when you have a vision for something you think about it and think about it and finally one day you just decide “let’s do this” and then you jump in and get it done. It’s scary and it consumes you and it doesn’t always go as planned, but you get to a point where you have to just do it.

So that is where I’m at. I don’t know exactly how this is all going to come to be, but I have some things in motion and I’m optimistic that it will work out. I could not sleep last night because I’m so driven to do this my brain would not turn off until I had a name. It’s tough to come up with a name for something now because if you want the URL and all of the social media handles to be consistent you have to be a little flexible. I got a name I’m pretty happy with that hopefully will be simple enough and convey my “theme.” I was able to get the url, Facebook page, Twitter, and Instagram all locked in. Again, I did this at 2:30 this morning because I couldn’t sleep until it was done. I have two guests lined up and some other people in mind. I have been going over how I’m going to start it and what direction I want it to go in… and I have to keep reminding myself that even though writing-wise I’m out of practice and I haven’t done a talk show in years, I CAN DO THIS. Not only that, I can do it and make it successful.

Thanks for reading.


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