The Beckham bodyguards got into it with a photographer… he lost.  They “arrested” him.  I have no idea if the Beckhams were even around or what the guy did… but he sure pissed their security guards off!

Nobody was actually arrested once the police showed up.

Photos: Splash News Online

Oh yeah, a company has just developed a can of whoop ass to spray at the paparazzi!

Apparently this Stoparazzi bottle sprays a fog that will cloud photos, but not damage camera equipment and it is non-toxic.

It will sell for $19.99 a can… not sure how much it’ll be by the caseload, but anyone who needs it will need a lot of it.

I wonder if they’ll be giving out samples in the gift bags at the next big Hollywood awards show?

Oh – and Heather Locklear’s sister Lori is part of the company that makes it!!  If only it had been released a few weeks ago when Heather was arrested…….

Britney Spears out in Bel Air… she’s being referred to as “MTV Video Music Award winner Britney Spears” haha… who rigged that ish anyway?

So rumors are starting that Britney is taping a reality show or something because she’s being followed by her own camera crew – like they’re traveling with her… not the paparazzi.

Hopefully this show will be called “Calm, Cool, and Collected” instead of “Chaotic”.

In other Spears news, Jamie Lynn Spears has apparently thanked her mother Lynne for writing that tell-all book.  Britney hasn’t read it yet.  Neither has anyone else.  And neither will anyone else.

Apparently that is John Mayer walking around hiding from the paparazzi.  I guess he doesn’t want anyone confronting him about breaking poor Jennifer Aniston’s heart… as if she didn’t see it coming.

Look at little Suri Cruise telling the paparazzi *and all of us* what she thinks of the cameras and flashes in her little face!!!  So funny!!!

Katie Holmes took Suri BOWLING in NYC the other night… My kid LOVES to bowl too!  Did she really take her bowling in that dress though?  She’s always dressed like she’s going to church.

Photos: Splash News Online

Haha I saw these pictures of James Gandolfini messing with the paparazzi (better than slugging them again!) and I immediately thought of Chunk from The Goonies doing the Truffle Shuffle.  That will always be one of my favorite movies!!  And just because I’m extra nice, here’s a clip of the truffle shuffle…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Photos: Splash News Online

Lindsay Lohan takes a lunch break on the set of Labor Pains.  If you look closely at the picture of her legs, it looks like her girl Samantha Ronson likes her a little furry!

Oh, so I guess Paris Hilton wants to do a reality special with Lindsay and Britney Spears, where they set the record straight and talk about the paparazzi and how it affects their lives, etc.  She’s been inspired by Denise Richards and Living Lohan.  It would be pretty damn sad if Lindz agreed to do Paris’s show but not her own mother’s.

I doubt that rumor is true anyway because Paris totally ditched Britney a while ago, and don’t she and Lindsay hate each other?

Photos: Splash News Online

Sung to the tune of “Who’s Holdin’ Donna Now?”  Don’t know it… thanks for making me feel old.  I’m 30.

OK so here’s my thought process… I’d vlog but I look like dookie.

Anyway, here’s my thought process as I’m about to post these adorable pictures of David Cook and David Archuleta… I’m thinking how cute are they?  I mean, they’re just nice guys with talent who got lucky and then proved they are great… and they’re both adorable… so how could I possibly be mean to them?

Then I see this picture of David Cook from the side – which I originally thought was cute when I saw the thumbnail… and then I clicked on it and realize his shave is completely uneven!  And I actually kind of liked his hair better at the beginning when it was a little messier… now it’s almost too neat.  Still, he might end up being the cutest rock star ever.

I think I’m going to make a little banner that says D*ana’s Dirt loves David ² or something… D*ana’s Dirt loves the Davids… I don’t know, maybe put it up near my silly face for fun.  If anyone wants to make me one, send it over.  I’ll credit you and send you some love.  Just something that I could put in my banner for a little while…

OK, so who is shaving David Cook?  Besides Kimberly Caldwell of course.  I mean, is she his girlfriend?  I don’t think it’s gone that far yet… they’re just hanging out.  I think the paparazzi needs to start following them more.  Get on it people.  We want to see who David Cook is with!!!!!!!

Right???

Photos: Splash News Online

So the question everyone’s been asking was finally answered on Regis & Kelly… Does David Cook have a girlfriend?

Well, David told Regis & Kelly that he took Kimberly Caldwell on a date at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse – and it went well… and he said they’ll probably hang out again!

I hope the paparazzi follow them.  I want to see what happens!!

That’s a very nice pretty picture of Kimberly by the way, there are a bunch of not so flattering ones I could have used but I felt like being nice… for now.  I’ll save the other ones for when she breaks his heart.

Oh, and just don’t let them make a “From David to Kimberly” movie!!!!!

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway are filming Bride Wars in NYC.  I LOVE how there are pictures of Kate Hudson wearing a big diamond and the paparazzi have “could she already be engaged to Lance Armstrong” written as the caption… HELLO!!!  SHE IS FILMING A MOVIE CALLED BRIDE WARS!!!!  Of course she’s wearing a ring.

Photos: Splash News Online