OK I guess it’s just a daughter kissing her mother but something about that just looks gross!

Lindsay Lohan and  her soon-to-be-movie-producer mom Dina stepped out for a smoke outside the Tasting Kitchen in LA.

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

We were actually starting to like you.  You were out of the spotlight, out of the courtroom, and aside from the alleged jewelery theft, we haven’t heard a peep out of you.  That’s the way we like it.  There was hope for you.

Way to screw it up!

Now you come out and announce that you want to only be known as “Lindsay” and NOT “Lindsay Lohan.”

Who do you think you are?  Madonna?  Listen you annoying drunk:

You’re like that crazy attention craving chick at a party who gets piss drunk, shows all the guys your boobs, and then spends the rest of the night puking in the bathroom with the creepy guy who thinks he’s still going to get some.

Stop it.  You’re not Prince, nor are you Madonna or Beyonce.  You’re not even Amy Winehouse.  You’re a bigger mess than Charlie Sheen.  If Amy Winehouse and Charlie Sheen had a kid together, the kid would still be less of a mess than you.  Listen you goofy little finger-painter: Clean up your life, learn to act, and THEN get the big ego.

Seriously, your attitude is extremely unattractive.  Nobody likes you except the creepy guys in Hollywood who think they have a chance with you.

Oh and by the way:  If your limo is late to pick you up from JFK airport, you’re probably not a big enough celebrity to just go by “Lindsay.”  Just sayin’.

AAR/Fame Pictures

I sat in on my co-worker’s interview with Michael Lohan today. 

He said, “Dina did coke with Lindsay” and also discussed his feelings on her relationship with Samantha Ronson.

Click here to listen to Chad Pitt talking to Michael Lohan.

Taylor and Jake called the cops on the paparazzi, the cops gave Swiftenhaal a Helicopter Escort.

Designer Tom Ford says “Fat people look better naked.” He obviously hasn’t seen me naked.

MiLo prolly shouldn’t have gotten Botox in front of photogs.  Now he owes Ditzy Dina money.

Denise Richards’ Wrangler Butt.  ‘Nuff Said.

Bea Arthur was a Marine.  Who says Golden Girls can’t be tough?

Amy Winehouse is headed to Dubai.  This can’t be good.

Check out this kid’s tribute to Taylor Swift- Synchronized Christmas Lights. Beat that Jake.

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Pamela Anderson in her underwear – for Nokia.

Lindsay Lohan topless in Machete.

Bristol Palin’s modest DWTS costume.

Lady Gaga & Beyonce perform Telephone.  Well, kinda.  Hilarious!

Even though Matt Lauer ambushed Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s giving Today the 1st interview!

Remember how Amy Winehouse called her husband “MAH Blake Incarcerated” …

Well now Dina and Ali Lohan have to visit their Lilo Incarcerated.

TMZ said they were allowed to visit her during non-visiting hours, not sure why.

Click here for my gossip reports from Wednesday… all about Lindsay’s drugs in jail and who else is trying to go visit her!

Fame Pictures

Lindsay Lohan is enjoying her last week of freedom before she heads to jail on July 20th… and the possible 90 day sentence plus some more time in rehab won’t cost her the role in her porn star movie!  Phew, I was worried.

Apparently the producers of the film are sticking by her 100% and claim she is going to “blow people’s minds”… no pun intended with the word “blow” I’m sure :)

Meanwhile Lindz is spending some quality time with her mother and her new attorney before she lands in the clink!

Bauer-Griffin

Lindsay Lohan and her mom Dina went shopping yesterday.  It is really weird to me how Lindsay got her SCRAM around the same time that shoes with cuffs on the ankles came into being… Just bizarre.  They look so uncomfortable!

I’ve been visiting my family and my sister’s new baby for the last week… but I heard she got in a little brawl over Doug Reinhardt in a bar and she’s been hanging out with Kim Kardashian??  Her with Kim K is like Britney hanging with Paris Hilton.  And Doug Reinhardt doing Lindsay Lohan is just a big step down for him… Craziess.

Bauer-Griffin

In a scramble to avoid jail time – which could be coming in 2 weeks – Lindsay Lohan and her mom attended an AA meeting in LA yesterday.  Lindsay’s hearing about her alcohol issues and probation is coming up on May 20, and she hasn’t been doing much to follow judge’s orders…

It’s super that Dina is by her daughter’s side now – at the very last minute… where was she 5, 6, 7, 8 years ago BEFORE Lindsay went on this downward spiral??

In the meantime, Michael Lohan’s lawyer apparently had a long conversation with Lindsay’s lawyer and he’s not going to move forward with the conservatorship action just yet… like he has a chance!

I really think Lilo is going to jail-o!  At least for a little while… unless she can squeeze a sh*tload of AA meetings into her super busy workdays!!

Photos: Fame Pictures

Lindsay Lohan finally showed up in court yesterday with her protective (HA!) mother at her side!  Let’s assume it went well since she left the court room smiling… She had to give a deposition about the crazy druken car ride of 2007 – remember she hopped in someone’s SUV and took a few guys for a joy ride??  She’s being sued on top of the criminal charges stemming from the incident.

On May 20 she is expected back in court for a hearing about her alcohol education issues – I don’t think she gets points for continuing to educate herself by drinking more, but we’ll see how it goes.

Meanwhile daddy Michael Lohan was back in LA with his girlfriend Kate Major – he’s trying to get a conservatorship.  Why not try – Jamie Spears is still taking a nice hefty paycheck every week from Britney’s fortune… oh wait, Lindsay doesn’t have a fortune, he must really care!!!

And let me point out that his current girlfriend looks a LOT like his ex-wife!!

Kate Major… Dina Lohan…

Photos: Fame Pictures