Posted by D*ana
“My brother ate my homework!”
There’s Rocco eating Kyla’s homework yesterday. She can’t really use the “my brother ate my homework” excuse though because she should have brought it to school yesterday morning BEFORE he got his hands on it. He actually didn’t really eat it, she left it in the living room and he found it… ripped it… and then I grabbed the camera and said “are you eating big sissy’s homework?” and he put it in his mouth (such a good listener!) and I snapped the pic then got the paper out of his mouth. I know I said I was going to try to post pics that haven’t been shared on Facebook yet but this one is so cute I had to use it for the blog post.
So yeah, excuses… Well my excuse for having nothing to write about and no desire to really do much of anything is I HAVE A COLD. I really shouldn’t complain too much since it seems like everyone I know and their kids have all kinds of other yucks going on but my head is all foggy-groggy and I feel like whining anyway.
While we’re on the subject of excuses and not taking responsibility for one’s own actions, apparently there is talk of a Paul Walker crash lawsuit. Now, I’m not saying that it isn’t really sad that he and his friend who was driving died a horrible death, but THEY WERE SPEEDING and he BRAGGED ABOUT BEING A SPEED DEMON many times. Let’s just be thankful that they didn’t kill anyone else on their joyride! As for a lawsuit, apparently the 2005 Porsche his friend was driving should have been built with some kind of speeding safety frame and it wasn’t… A family filed a lawsuit years ago when a similar model crashed at over 100mph on a race track and Porsche paid them $4.5 million. I do not get how you can sue the car company when your family member drives recklessly and ends up dead, but it worked so why not, right? So far nobody has filed a lawsuit or said they are going to, but TMZ posted a story about how it could have been the faulty Porsche and not the faulty excessive speeder that caused the deadly accident.
OK, that’s all for today. At least for now anyway, maybe I’ll come up with something more interesting later.
Posted by D*ana
Treatable with a cleverly named pharmaceutical of course!
Yeah, have you heard this complete line of horse manure (or is it just cows that poop manure) on the radio lately??
I listen to the “male” talk radio station pretty much all the time now and this commercial plays in EVERY FREAKING BREAK.
It’s for “Nuvigil”, you know, like new-vigil. A new way to stay up when you should be sleeping.
It’s for the treatment of “Shift Work Disorder”.
Um, SINCE WHEN IS BEING TIRED BECAUSE YOU WORK ALL FRICKING NIGHT A MEDICAL CONDITION????
Since Teva Pharmaceuticals came up with some concoction that apparently helps some people stay up during the day after they work all night.
Forget about the fact that YOU NEED SLEEP and if you work at night and don’t get any then NATURALLY YOUR BODY WILL REQUIRE SLEEP DURING THE DAY. Yeah, forget about that, that’s the old way of being a human being and working the graveyard shift – now if you are tired during the day after working all night you can be cured of your basic need for sleep by taking this medication!
It also “may cause serious side effects including a serious rash or a serious allergic reaction that may affect parts of your body such as your liver or blood cells, and may result in hospitalization and be life-threatening.”
At least when all of that nasty happens and you need to get to the ER so you don’t F-ING DIE, you’ll be wide awake…
Or maybe you’re not really breaking out in a serious rash due to liver failure at all, it could just be that pesky “sensing things that aren’t really there” side effect…
“Mental (psychiatric) symptoms, including: depression, feeling anxious, sensing things that are not really there, extreme increase in activity (mania), thoughts of suicide, aggression, or other mental problems.”
Quotes taken from the Nuvigil website, if all of this sounds so tempting you want to try some.
I know we want to pop a pill for everything in this pharmaceutical-addicted country but this one just pushes the absurdity over the edge. I see that this medication is also used for people who have apnea and narcolepsy, but SHIFT WORK DISORDER?
If you think you have SHIFT WORK DISORDER or if a “doctor” diagnoses you with SHIFT WORK DISORDER I am here to tell you, YOU ARE JUST BLEEPING TIRED. You do not need a pill, you need to take a nap.
I could stay up and write more but if I do that, I might be tired when it is time to get up in the morning and it isn’t clear yet whether or not Nuvigil can also cure I STAYED UP TOO LATE BLOGGING LAST NIGHT DISORDER.
I will leave you with this little gem I came across while I was looking for a YouTube video of the real commercial. At least I know I am not the only one who thinks this is pure insanity.
Oh, and yes, this IS the real audio of the ad.
Posted by D*ana
My Christmas Tree!
PSYCHE – That’s last year’s. We have to figure out how we are going to keep the little guy (who is now running and grabbing EVERYTHING) away from it before we can put it up.
My brain is suddenly racing with about 100 (ok maybe 6 but that is still a lot) things but I decided to just write this blog because I said I would keep up with it and it’s now been several days.
Just as I went to write this I thought, “I need to post a pic, let me see what I have on my phone that I didn’t post to Facebook yet…”
Then I remembered that my phone died about 3 hours ago while I was watching Rocco stand on his toy basket and dance to George’ Strait’s Cheyanne song. I went to take a picture of him because it’s so stinking cute and it beeped off… and I just never plugged it in. So I gave you a picture of last year’s tree :)
Then it hit me – I should not be sitting down to write a blog when I never got around to digging through the garage for the Elf on the Shelf this week while Kyla was gone. I spent the last couple of days cleaning, like scrubbing the shower, moving the couches to vacuum under them, and moving this enormous hoard of stuff I am selling upstairs because it is taking over the house… so it’s not like I didn’t do anything, I just didn’t get to the Christmas stuff like I had hoped.
Kyla hasn’t even asked about the elf. Not a word. So I can probably get away with not bothering until tomorrow night – plus, she knows it is me anyway and Rocco is too little. I feel like a total slacker – no elf, no tree yet, and of course looking at everyone’s festive Facebook pictures makes me feel even worse about myself… I’m still drinking Pumpkin Spice Lattes and ate the last pumpkin muffin from Thanksgiving tonight. I’m a little behind.
Did you Black Friday shop? I did not. It isn’t so much that I am taking a stand against people having to work on Thanksgiving night (although it is a bit ridiculous), it’s just that I do not at all enjoy fighting through masses of human vultures to get a deal. I do enough bargain shopping (got Rocco 6 pieces of brand name clothing for $8 today at consignment) so when it’s time to buy Christmas gifts I will pay a little more for the things I actually think people will like instead of getting them a 19 inch flat screen just because it’s on sale for $11.99. I mean seriously, how many of you BF shoppers have picked something up for someone just because it’s a doorbuster and he/she is the person on your list most likely to not hate it? And of course there are always the videos of people getting busted up over a pair of $4 panties…
This Wal-Mart employee in Salt Lake City was trampled in the name of $49 tablets.
OK MAYBE I can understand the tablet thing – but TRAMPLED FOR TOWELS?
Who knows what these two women were fighting over at a mall in Vegas when someone whipped out a STUN GUN!?
Thankfully, back in 2006 some concerned citizens put this website together to help us keep track of all of these unfortunate incidents: BlackFridayDeathCount.com
FYI – The NY Post article about the Wal Mart employee being trampled to death was actually from 2008.
One of the best quotes I saw on a video that went around – “Imagine if people got this worked up over stuff that actually mattered.” SO TRUE.
The answer to the title question of this post is a definitive “NO” since I am ready to doze off and there is no way I am venturing to the garage to dig out the Christmas stuff now. Our garage is a bit of a disaster and I would probably have to open it from the outside to go around the heap of junk… Ugh. Someday it’ll get done :)
I haven’t forgotten about the baby product post but I haven’t had a chance to get it all together yet. And once the video issue is fixed (not sure what the problem is!) I have a few things to say about a new pill I’ve been hearing ads for ad nauseam (which is probably one of the side effects BTW)!!
Back to school tomorrow, woot.
Posted by D*ana
Admittedly I’ve been living under a rock for the last several months when it comes to keeping up with celebrities. When I stopped being on the radio full time I shifted my focus to other things so for all I know I’m the only one who thought “WTF?” when I saw Miley Cyrus come on stage last night wearing a cat bikini with a massive kitten singing next to her.
Here are a few things that came to mind:
No, wait… I know what it was…
The only way she could top the aforementioned performances was to show her pussy on stage.
Actually, a quick Google search answered the WTF question – apparently someone made a “Wrecking Ball” parody video using a kitten and then a bunch of other people made kitten videos so Miley was just playing on that.
And then there is this one in which a kitten actually rides a yarn wrecking ball.
Since you haven’t seen enough, here is a cat accompanying Miley on the piano.
Here’s Miley’s performance from the American Music Awards last night. Yes, you can show your children, it’s just Miley and a cute little kitten, awww… see, she’s not so bad!
You can click on the videos to watch them. I have no idea why they are not embedding properly. It may have something to do with the video player code I have installed for the purpose of running ads through my former network. I’ll try to figure it out. In the meantime, thanks for reading and sharing!
Posted by D*ana
Yes, Adam Levine is in FACT the Sexiest Man Alive. Not just People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, but THE Sexiest Man Alive. He is. I’m sorry if you don’t agree, but he just is. I don’t know any women who don’t find him deliciously attractive and if you’re a woman and you don’t want him to eat crackers and leave crumbs in your bed, you’re just not a real woman.
I was pretty shocked to realize today that there are a lot of people who really don’t like Adam Levine.
Actually, there are a lot of people who seem to hate him the way it was cool to hate Nickelback like three years ago. Check out this list of the Top 10 Negative Responses to Adam Levine’s Sexiest Man Alive Title.
My favorite from that list is Jimmy Kimmel’s line:
“He kind of has an unfair advantage. The guy spends his whole week sitting next to CeeLo, who looks like a Cadbury Egg.”
It’s the only one that’s actually funny and not just stupid and hateful. Most of the people making fun of him I’ve never even heard of, nor are they even remotely sexy themselves… Jealous much?
And why didn’t anyone take the obvious dig at him for selling out to K-Mart? I let the whole perfume thing go (you know how he went off about celebrities having their own fragrances and then came out with his own, but said he actually made his smell awesome so it was OK), but the K-Mart thing I am kind of struggling with…
Then I look at this and my struggles seem to fade away…………
Plus, my friend always tells me I am “as loyal as they come” so I’m remaining loyal to Adam Levine even though he’s no better than Kathie Lee Gifford when it comes to making clothes for cheesy department stores.
Now, onto Lamar Odom. Since there’s just no selling any dirty video of him and Khloe Kardashian we get this instead.
Lamar, allegedly all cracked out, rapping about cheating on her. Oh, and he raps about his fragrance – he’s got one too.
I can’t embed the video, you can go here to watch it.
I have another post brewing about yet another baby product that has been recalled due to IDIOT PARENT ERROR but I’m going to save that one for later.
Posted by D*ana
I did the gluten-free thing for 3.5 days. Then I felt like crap. Now, it could have been the half bottle of wine I drank last night that made me feel all fatigued and gross, but I blamed the lack of carbs and sugar and chowed down on some Annie’s organic bunny cheese crackers this afternoon. I know that lack of gluten did not make me feel sick, but I am so used to stuffing my face with all kinds of crap I think I was just hungry and didn’t have anything gluten-free and quick to fill me up so before I fainted I caved. Then I was going to jump back on the wagon and make a healthy dinner but Rick suggested pizza so I went for it. I even had some soda too, which I rarely drink. I think my problem with trying to be gluten-free is that I need to buy a whole bunch of other stuff to snack on that doesn’t have gluten in it. Or maybe I should just significantly lower the amount of wheat & sugar I eat instead of housing a 12 pack of Target cookies in 2 days. Anyway, I’m gluten-full and alcohol-free tonight.
About that rash… I have been using Dreft ever since Rocco was born (15 months ago today!) so I haven’t had any itchy-scratchy issues from laundry detergent in a while. I kind of forgot about the hives I used to wake up with on occasion and used Tide on my clothes the other day. In fact, I did several loads of my laundry in Tide, and now I have to do it all over again because that stuff gives me such a rash I might as well rub poison ivy all over my skin!! A number of people suggested All Free & Clear so I will pick that up next time. The hives were so bad this morning I was itching all over and some of the bumps were the size of my hand!! I freaked out for a minute until I remembered what I had done. Not bed bugs, not an allergic reaction from lack of gluten, it’s the freaking detergent. Of course I posted a Facebook status about waking up with hives from Tide. Then at the Thanksgiving Feast (see below) my friend says to me, in front of a bunch of other moms I don’t know, “so how are the hives doing?” Hahahhaa… Yeah, about that rash… Gotta love sharing every little mundane detail of life on Facebook!!
I hate science fair projects. We actually had a pretty good idea but it didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. I probably should have thought better about how we did it in the first place, and then of course we ended up waiting until the night before to type it all up and get it done. Since I am obsessed with clothes my idea was to test different stain removers to see which worked best. We used Oxi-Clean, vinegar, and peroxide (because I heard that those home remedies worked) and not only did the Oxi Clean work much better than the other two, the “control” shirt that didn’t get treated with anything actually washed better than the ones we soaked in vinegar and peroxide! I think the Oxi Clean had an unfair advantage because you soak the whole shirt in that mixed with water, and the peroxide and vinegar you just dab the stuff on the shirt.. I wish I had soaked all three or come up with different stuff to test and maybe we would have gotten a better result. Oh well, after some whining and yelling it’s done and hopefully she gets a good grade.
Rocco’s child care center had their Thanksgiving feast today. I went to help but I felt like crap so I just cut some bread and dished out some cranberry sauce and sat down. Rocco tried to eat corn on the cob for the first time, after dipping it in his mashed potatoes. He ate one green bean and a few little bites of cranberry sauce. No turkey, but I know he likes turkey because we eat it at home all the time. He even knows how to ask for it in sign language. Well, the sign he knows is for chicken but same thing. I have a video of him doing it, I will have to try to upload it to YouTube and figure out if I can still code it into a blog post. It’s been a while ;)
I love Harajuku Mini clothes and would like to know when Gwen Stefani is going to work on a new line for boys at Target. We have a few outfits but he outgrew some and believe it or not they are hard to find for a decent price on eBay.
There he is in one of his Harajuku rompers.
So yesterday’s post got like 50-something shares. I am astonished that 50 people even read this let alone share it since I’ve slacked off for so long.
I gotta go, I am hosting playgroup tomorrow and my house is a mess. I don’t think too many people are coming, Rocco has a bit of a runny nose so it is “come at your own risk” this week. Some of the babies already have the funk so I’ll just put some tissues out and we can have a snot-wiping fest over coffee and pumpkin muffins that I still have to make.
Posted by D*ana
There’s Kyla & her friend Paul with Selena Gomez a few weeks ago. Paul has loved Selena for years… One of my favorite things about working in the radio business and having a few “connections” has always been treating other people to cool stuff like this. And by connections, I mean I asked Toby (Kyla’s dad) if he could get them back stage and he hooked it up. They had a blast. I figure since I don’t have $372 to post the latest picture of Britney Spears grocery shopping I will just put random pics from my stash up each day since I believe all blog posts should have a picture.
So here I am posting 2 nights in a row. I freaking rule. I also got through a third day gluten free. I did have an M&M McFlurry though. Nobody said I was on a diet, the M&M McFlurry does not have gluten in it so I had one to satisfy my sweet tooth.
Let me tell you about the Loud Swedish Ladies. Actually, I don’t even think the louder of the two is even Swedish. A few weeks ago I was sitting at Kyla’s gymnastics class when this nicely dressed brunette sitting near me asked some hot blonde chick if she was Swedish. They then proceeded to have the loudest conversation ever, in Swedish, for the rest of the hour. And every Wednesday afternoon since I have listened to them bid each other hello, loudly, in Swedish, and yip away at each other as if to make sure everyone in the room knows, “WE SPEAK SWEDISH.” The blonde is off the boat Swedish but I think what really irks me is the other lady just learned the language at some point in her adult life and likes to show off her skills, and she is so beyond thrilled to have a real Swede to talk to she can’t shut up. Last week I sat as far away from them as possible so I didn’t have to over-hear them but today I ended up sitting closer and I was so irritated I texted my friend to let her know how annoyed I was. I love being able to text someone at any given moment when something ticks me off just to let them know :)
So on to Chris Brown still being angry. He was sent to rehab for anger management but was kicked out because apparently there is no managing his anger. It’s too bad, because he’s just wanted to put this whole Rihanna beating thing that happened years ago behind him but he still hasn’t been able to convince anyone that he’s a changed man. Even his mom can’t try to defend him because he was actually kicked out of rehab a few weeks ago for THROWING A ROCK AT HER CAR AND SHATTERING THE WIND SHIELD when she told him he should stay in there and work on himself. It must be so rough being him. Think about it. More money and fame than you know what to do with… ugh, I would want to throw rocks at my mother too, and beat my girlfriend up, and throw chairs out the GMA show window. Life really sucks sometimes, poor Chris Brown.
I think something must be really screwed up on this site because it looks like my post from last night got THIRTY FIVE shares. I know people share a lot of ridiculous sh*t on Facebook but my post about not posting enough with a pledge to post more? Seriously? Has to be a glitch.
That is all. I need to go to bed. We have a Thanksgiving Feast to go to tomorrow at Rocco’s school. He just goes a few days a week so I can get stuff done and take naps.
Fingers still crossed.
Posted by D*ana
Sometimes we need fires lit under our asses. I would not say I have become lazy because I feel like I am constantly doing stuff… Taking care of kids, doing dishes, doing laundry, not cleaning the rest of the house often enough, selling stuff on eBay, grocery shopping, taking Kyla to gymnastics, taking Rocco to play dates, managing Facebook Groups (yes, I do, shut up, I enjoy it), still doing a weekend radio show, but there are some things I wish I was doing that I am not doing…
Anyway, a little while ago I got a message from a friend who was driving through Orlando earlier and heard “Dana’s Dirt” but the person doing the dirt wasn’t me. She was surprised by this (of course). So I Googled and yup, there’s someone in Orlando named Dana on the radio who does Dirt. Thankfully, when I Googled her, um, well, me, or whatever, this website still came up first. Then I got mad at myself because let’s be serious, this site was pretty awesome for a while!!
This lit a fire under my ass to at least make a post considering the last one was in August!
So now what? I don’t know. But I miss writing, even if it isn’t all about celebrities. I think I need to just brush off the fact that the layout of this site is outdated and devote some time to it anyway. My goal yesterday, and again today, was to be gluten-free. And I did it. I am not making any sort of long term commitment to cutting pasta, bread, and cookies out of my diet but I’ve heard so many people say they lost weight and felt fantastic when they cut gluten out so I figured why not see if I can do it? So tomorrow I will have 2 goals, eat no gluten and come up with a blog post so that when other people call themselves Dana’s Dirt I don’t feel all poopy pants.
I am also going to kick myself because I should have copyrighted this sh*t a long time ago!!!
What to write about…
I am soooooooooooo tempted to share with you some mom group drama that went down a few months ago but it may not be a good idea… The person who helped me create this site nearly 10 years ago told me recently that I should be writing about a lot of different things that go on… Real life… is what people like to read about… I have just learned in my old age that sometimes it is better not to use things as “fodder” for a show/blog… We’ll see. I’ll sleep on it. And I hate the word fodder but it came to mind so I used it.
So on to celebrities, I still have to figure out what this whole deal is with Brittany Murphy being poisoned!!! I have really gotten into government conspiracies (I actually believe some of them but I am not going to get into all of that mess here) so I am going to have to do a little investigating to find out what happened.
I got all excited last week when I saw a story on TMZ about Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller getting a reality show about fighting over their kids but I guess they both said no. You have to admit, “WINNING” would have been the perfect name for a show about a custody battle!
OK that’s all for now…
Ha, can you believe it has been 10 years since I started putting that * in my name. What a dork.
PS – Keep your fingers crossed for me :)