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Woo-Hoo We Are Going Away For The Weekend!!!!

Doesn’t it just figure that the other day I finally decided to write in this blog… and I wrote about how difficult it’s been for me to express myself honestly and openly lately… and someone decided to comment and criticize me?

A guy who works in radio related to my post and thought it was worth sharing, so he put it on his Facebook wall.

Another radio person (someone I don’t know) commented that I’m a terrible writer and that there was no point to my post.

Yet another radio person defended me and told the dude to keep his opinion to himself.

They went back and forth, with this cat then saying that if this is how I write, he’d hate to hear an aircheck.

I try really hard to let nasty comments roll of my back because who really cares what people think? There are a lot of mean people on the internet, and there’s always gotta be a hater these days, right?

The reality is, this guy works in a much smaller city and I’m probably a much better DJ than him, so I should have just laughed it off. But it still sucks to be insulted out of the blue like that, and really for no reason.

Oh, and here’s where my concern with how my words are taken comes into play… I feel like I need to make the following disclaimer before I continue:

Please don’t take my comment about market size the wrong way. This is what happens to me now… I try to stick up for myself and question who this guy is to criticize me because I’ve obviously done OK for myself, and then I think I come off sounding like a pompous ass. I feel like I shouldn’t even make that statement because it could be perceived as bragging or even bullying him.

Oh well, people told me I should just say how I feel so… Here’s what I have to say to this troll. I work in a major market and I worked really hard to get here, so screw you. Take several seats buddy, and don’t forget to shove your critique of my writing up your butt before you sit down.

Anyway, I’ll admit I’m a little out of practice when it comes to writing, but so what? I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. I also don’t have much time, so when I do post, there is only so much I can do to make sure everything is neatly organized and grammatically correct.

I try. I actually tend to read and re-read my stuff and edit again and again, but there’s only so much I can do. Plus, I’m not writing for the New York Times, it’s a blog. I can write howevers I want.

Yes, I said howevers on purpose.

I’ve had co-workers and other people in my life who actually like and respect me tell me that I should write more often, so it really got under my skin that I finally did it and some rando had to insult me. Sometimes I feel like I really must be the a-hole because I end up blindsided by stuff like this… It makes me think I must deserve it. Maybe I do?

Back to the subject at hand, the title of this post…

We are going away for the weekend and I AM CAN NOT WAIT!!

I need to get away and have fun and not think about work for a solid 3 days.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but sitting in traffic for several hours a day and constantly having to come up with things to write/talk about gets to be mentally exhausting. I know there are a lot of radio people who think that we are so #blessed to be doing this job that we should never want a day off, we should always be so #thankful that we get to just turn on a mic and blab about whatever and play music for a living, but humans need a break from even the coolest of jobs.

I don’t know what it is or why, but I go through phases where sometimes I just feel like it’s a struggle to come up with stuff to talk about. I second guess myself.

I feel like a robot, constantly scouring the web and social media and my own brain for stuff to say. I don’t even do a talk show, I speak in 7 or 10 or 15 or 21 second increments, but I think sometimes that makes it even tougher. Not only do I have to come up with stuff to say, I only have a few seconds to say it and if I screw up, there’s no time to correct it.

I do 5 hours on the air locally every day and then I record shows for other cities, sometimes during the week and always on weekends. On Friday I have to plan and voice anywhere from 3 to 5, sometimes more, shows.

It is not hard, I am not doing open heart surgery, it is actually pretty easy, but sometimes it feels overwhelming and I just plain do not want to do it. I feel like a kid with a massive pile of homework. It can be about the most interesting of subject matters, but I just don’t want to do it.

I hope my bosses are not reading this…

In case they are, I LOVE MY JOB.

But my brain is just mushy and unfocused.

I know this happens to everyone in every job. I bet even rock stars and actors and comedians feel this way sometimes. No matter what you do for work, sometimes you are going to be over it and feel like you need time to just not worry about it.

I’ve reached that point.

Hopefully after 3 days of water slides and bowling and treasure hunting I will feel better.

Later this summer we are going to visit my family in Massachusetts for a week and I am pumped about that… But for now I need to get off my tush and get ready for bed and go to sleep… Well, who am I kidding, I’m going to get ready for bed and scroll through Facebook looking for LuLaRoe and then I’ll fall asleep.

If this post made no sense to you and you didn’t like it and you feel the need to poop all over it, by all means. Don’t forget to choke on your haterade while you’re trolling me.

Cheers!

 

I Have No Comment.

I have been finding it more and more difficult to write, to comment, to be myself lately.

Not in my “real” life, but “publicly” meaning online, on social media, on the radio.

I feel like we’ve reached a point where everything offends someone. Everything that isn’t all roses and sweet is “judging” or “bullying” or “offensive.”

I feel like recently there have been a few situations that I’d love to speak up about but I can’t. Some of them are just little things, others are bigger… And this feeling like I can’t speak my mind is starting to really affect me.

Anyone who knows me in real life and those who have followed me on the radio/this website/social media for a while knows that I have never really held back my feelings. I know sometimes this rubbed people the wrong way or turned them off completely, but I also think putting myself out there attracted people to me and now I’ve become stale.

A situation arose a few weeks ago and it got me really fired up. I witnessed a mom blogger who has “ins” with some famous people completely rip apart a mom in one of the clothing groups I’m in. It was terribly mean and uncalled for. I wanted to stand up to her… So I did. And it backfired. I won’t get into it any further but let me just say that people are not always what they portray themselves to be online and on social media and what this young lady did to another mom was vicious and cruel and completely wrong.

The fact that I couldn’t speak my mind about something that many people witnessed and knew was wrong, the fact that I was stifled and quieted and hushed up because I stood up to someone, really upset me. It’s not anyone’s fault, it just bothers me.

I can not even post a meme comparing Kim Kardashian in a black and white outfit to an orca without being called a body shamer!!

I can not take it anymore!!

Now there’s another situation that I am DYING to comment on… I have a lot to say, some of it is fact and some of it is pure speculation based on what I believe to be true, but I can not say anything!!

I’ve seen so many people comment freely on this, some people are saying things that are completely false, some people are saying things out of spite and bitterness, and I have to remain quiet. In fact, I know there are many other people who are much closer to the situation than I am and they all have to bite their tongues for various reasons. It is not a good feeling. Regardless of time, space, circumstances, we all feel compelled to say something when we see a wrong being done. It just plain sucks when you have to hold it in.

Again, it’s not anyone’s fault that I can’t say anything… I’m just in a position where it would be highly inappropriate on a number of levels for me to put my 2 cents in.

I’ve also reached a point where I am so concerned about how my opinion will be perceived that I just don’t say anything. Again, someone got upset because I shared a meme about Kim Kardashian. We can’t even poke fun at Kim Kardashian anymore without being told that we are perpetuating bullying.

Whatever the case is, I feel trapped.

So let me just repeat what I said before and what I said on Snapchat earlier today… People say everything online and on social media through a filter. They show you the roses. They show you the pretty. They show you the sweet. They show you baking cookies and playing with puppies.

They even let you think they’re showing the ugly sometimes… But even that ugly is through a filter.

We all do this to some degree, some of us without even realizing it.

But there are some who are calculated and manipulative and they do it purposefully… and they fool people.

Don’t fall for it.

Don’t form your opinion about a person or a situation based on what you are seeing through the carefully placed filter… Some little monsters are much bigger than they seem.

I wish I could just spill what I want to say but hopefully some of this makes sense.

I haven’t bothered with this blog because I have felt this way for a while, I think I’ve even mentioned it in other posts… I no longer feel like I can say what’s on my mind, honestly and openly, because I am sick of being criticized for it.

I miss spilling my guts, maybe I just need a new approach.

Or maybe I just need to find the right filter…

 

 

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