Posted by D*ana
I just love the smell of fresh baby puke first thing in the morning!
Seriously, the first thing I heard this morning was, “Rocco barfed!”
Of course I’m thinking a little bit of baby spit up even though that never happens anymore (he’s 15 months) but Kyla said “no, mom, like he BARFED everywhere.”
Yeah, he did and OH EM GEE IT STUNK.
It was everywhere.
And it was chunky.
It actually didn’t even look all that disgusting because it was mostly undigested carrots, chicken, pasta, and a few strawberries. It was on the crib rail, all over the sheets, in his hair, on his stuffed monkeys, on the rug, I have no idea how that much food was even inside his little belly but there it was. If not for the stench it would have been just like picking up spilled food but like I said, it REEKED.
So I’m standing there in that moment of “where do I even start cleaning this mess up?” at the same time panicking because Kyla has to be at school in 20 minutes and not only do I not have time to get it all cleaned up before we have to leave but then I’m thinking what if he hurls again and then I have a puke-mess all over my car too??
Just as I was thinking I should call Rick and see if he can come get Kyla to drop her off at school Rocco starts putting his hands in the puke so I picked him up… Straight to the tub… and as I carried him chunks were falling off him… He smeared chunks all over the toilet bowl lid and I had to get Kyla to bring me the wipes to clean it off.
Meanwhile, he is acting like nothing is wrong. He actually tried to dive into the tub like he usually does because he loves the bath. Meanwhile all I am thinking is please do not let him puke again, and please do not let this be a stomach bug, and please do not let me puke… because by this time the stink is getting to me and I am completely nauseous.
I got him out of the tub and brought a diaper to the living room because his room smelled so foul I couldn’t stand to be in there another minute.
Once he was all set I called Rick to come get Kyla and he agreed.
I didn’t know what to do with him even though he seemed to be feeling fine so I grabbed a big sheet and decided we’d hang out and play in the living room and I’d give him a cracker or something in a little bit instead of a big egg breakfast just in case he was going to yak again. I grabbed the sheet so just in case he puked I could put it down and it wouldn’t get on the rug. I don’t think a 15 month old would know what to do if I handed him a bucket and said, “if you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”
A little while later I decided to tackle the chunks all over his room. I had to pick up the pieces first because it was so chunky I didn’t want to just throw it all in the washing machine and then have to clean up all of the food that didn’t wash away… I put on my dishwashing gloves and grabbed some paper towels and held my breath and picked up the chunks as best I could, of course dropping little bits here and there… I thought I got it all and lifted the mattress to pull the sheets off and more bits fell onto the mattress, UGH. I picked all that up, wiped the mattress down, and shoved the sheets and the mattress pad in the washer, on hot, as a few more little pukey pieces fell on the floor. Then I had to wipe down the sides of the crib, pick the ick out of the rug, check his stuffed monkeys for spewage, put his puke-jamas in the wash too, wipe the toilet lid with bleach cleaner, and make sure he didn’t manage to get it on anything else.
Then I started thinking, how did I not hear him barfing this all up on the baby monitor? His fussing even just a little bit in the middle of the night wakes me up but he managed to blow the entire contents of his stomach all over his crib and I didn’t hear a thing??? Then I started to think “what if he pukes again and I don’t hear and he chokes on his own vomit” but I had to just put that out of my head!!! I really don’t know how I didn’t hear him though.
I also have a feeling that even though I meticulously tried to get every last bit of puke-chunk cleaned out of his room, the bathroom, and the laundry room, I am going to find something later and wonder “is this puke-carrot or just a carrot that I missed when I cleaned him up after dinner?”
And I still don’t know why he puked. Maybe something he ate. Maybe he just ate too much. Maybe he had a little stomach bug but it went away after one good chunk blowing and nobody else caught it? Knock on wood of course because if I wake up puking tomorrow I am going to be really pissed off… especially since I skipped doing any eBay shipping today just in case he got sick again so I have to get it all done tomorrow.
I realized at some point that I never even had any coffee today. I have coffee EVERY day. After smelling vomit and thinking I might end up puking too I had no desire to eat or drink anything so I just went the whole day without it. I did take a nap when he took a nap… and of course I GOT CAUGHT. I really don’t take naps all that often but when I do it always seems to be on a day when Rick decides to come home for a little while (to take a nap himself) and then it looks like I just nap every day when the baby naps and I really don’t.
Other things I accomplished today besides cleaning up a bedroom full of vomit – I cleaned out the refrigerator. And I don’t just mean I got rid of all the expired cheese and moldy jam, I took everything out and scrubbed the shelves in the sink and put that sucker back together. Whoever designs refrigerators needs to actually clean a fridge one day and make some improvements in how they come apart. There’s gotta be a better way than the one that requires banging around plastic and tempered glass while gritting your teeth!
I need to go to bed.
Long day of packing and shipping tomorrow!
Posted by D*ana
Do you ever feel like you are constantly in a state of either doing dishes… or not doing dishes that need to be done? Cleaning the bathroom.. or not cleaning the bathroom that needs to be cleaned. Sweeping the floor… or not sweeping the floor that needs to be swept. That’s just how I feel this morning. Kyla is supposed to take the silverware out of the dishwasher and put it away but we actually make her do it maybe a couple times a month. She’s 9 and tall enough to reach all of the cabinets, she should be emptying the whole dishwasher. Maybe I should try to get her to do it… we’ll see how that goes. I can hear the whining now… Do your kids do chores? I didn’t. I remember when I was probably in high school and my parents tried to start making me do dishes, it sucked.
We haven’t put our tree up yet. I suck, I know. I spent the weekend listing tons of stuff on eBay because now that I don’t have a full-time job I have to make Christmas money somehow. Maybe that’s why I’m not feeling the spirit, I haven’t had to worry about how I’m going to afford gifts in quite a few years so now I’m like, “oh sh*t, I need a job.” At least I have a ton of stuff to sell, it’s just so time consuming and a lot of work. Not nearly as fun as blabbing about Adam Levine and Lindsay Lohan on the radio.
Rocco has decided he loves country music. I have never been much of a country fan, there are a few songs I like but growing up in Boston we didn’t even have a country radio station so I just never got into the music. Except for Kenny Rogers, who doesn’t love The Gambler. I actually sang The Gambler to Rocco last night while I was rocking him to sleep. Sick of You Are My Sunshine. “On a warm summer’s eve, on a train bound for nowhere…” It worked, he fell asleep on me and he usually doesn’t. He nurses (yes I am one of those crazy people who still has a baby on my boobie at 15 months) for a while and then I have to put him down because he can’t get comfortable while I’m holding him. He squirms around like he wants to, but he can’t.
So back to him loving country music. We put his toys in this IKEA basket and he now likes to flip it over and climb on it as if it is his stage. Rick randomly decided to play George Strait’s Cheyanne song the other day and Rocco started bopping his head to it, climbed up on the basket, and did his little foot stomp. It is the cutest thing. He gets so into it. I want to get him a little cowboy hat and cowboy boots for Christmas. We’ve tried to get video of him doing it but he is camera shy. You know how it goes… Kid does something insanely cute, you grab the camera, kid suddenly has no interest in being cute anymore. We’ll get one eventually.
I am still fighting a little cold. Knock on wood we thankfully hardly ever get sick so I shouldn’t complain since scrolling through my news feed all I see are people barfing and taking their kids to the ER…
Speaking of health, I am starting to feel like I might be better off not knowing just how crappy most of the food in this country is. I have tried really hard to eat more vegetables, less red meat, less GMO, more organic, no more cow’s milk, only almond milk (now I like it so much better), home made sweet potato fries instead of frozen french fries, no fast food (McNuggets taste like chemicals to me now… but I do have a weakness for McFlurries), I make dinner from scratch just about every night and buy anti-biotic free chicken, but then today I read about how all sugar is made from GMO sugar beets and the more sugar you consume the more likely you are to get cancer and I’m like sweet – no pun intended – my sweet tooth is going to kill me. Why even bother? Does every little change help or is it an all or nothing kind of thing where even if you eat organic lettuce and good stuff all day if you wash it down with a handful of oreos your stomach is going to explode and you are going to die anyway?
OK I need to get ready to go pick Rocco up from “school”. I used to think it was foolish for people to call it “school” when their kids are only a year old but he does learn stuff and they do little projects and he got a report card… so it’s school. The first few weeks were rough, he would cry when GrandMary got him out of the car but now he is fine. GrandMary is his grandmother who owns the center for those who do not know. She did not want to be called Grandma so it’s GrandMary.
Hopefully at some point this week I will come up with a pointed blog post but today it is just ramblings. At least it is something, right?
And for the record, that picture is NOT of my sink. The only things in my sink right now are my breakfast dishes… but the dishwasher needs to be emptied before I can re-load it… Vicious frigging endless cycle!!!
Posted by D*ana
“My brother ate my homework!”
There’s Rocco eating Kyla’s homework yesterday. She can’t really use the “my brother ate my homework” excuse though because she should have brought it to school yesterday morning BEFORE he got his hands on it. He actually didn’t really eat it, she left it in the living room and he found it… ripped it… and then I grabbed the camera and said “are you eating big sissy’s homework?” and he put it in his mouth (such a good listener!) and I snapped the pic then got the paper out of his mouth. I know I said I was going to try to post pics that haven’t been shared on Facebook yet but this one is so cute I had to use it for the blog post.
So yeah, excuses… Well my excuse for having nothing to write about and no desire to really do much of anything is I HAVE A COLD. I really shouldn’t complain too much since it seems like everyone I know and their kids have all kinds of other yucks going on but my head is all foggy-groggy and I feel like whining anyway.
While we’re on the subject of excuses and not taking responsibility for one’s own actions, apparently there is talk of a Paul Walker crash lawsuit. Now, I’m not saying that it isn’t really sad that he and his friend who was driving died a horrible death, but THEY WERE SPEEDING and he BRAGGED ABOUT BEING A SPEED DEMON many times. Let’s just be thankful that they didn’t kill anyone else on their joyride! As for a lawsuit, apparently the 2005 Porsche his friend was driving should have been built with some kind of speeding safety frame and it wasn’t… A family filed a lawsuit years ago when a similar model crashed at over 100mph on a race track and Porsche paid them $4.5 million. I do not get how you can sue the car company when your family member drives recklessly and ends up dead, but it worked so why not, right? So far nobody has filed a lawsuit or said they are going to, but TMZ posted a story about how it could have been the faulty Porsche and not the faulty excessive speeder that caused the deadly accident.
OK, that’s all for today. At least for now anyway, maybe I’ll come up with something more interesting later.
Posted by D*ana
Treatable with a cleverly named pharmaceutical of course!
Yeah, have you heard this complete line of horse manure (or is it just cows that poop manure) on the radio lately??
I listen to the “male” talk radio station pretty much all the time now and this commercial plays in EVERY FREAKING BREAK.
It’s for “Nuvigil”, you know, like new-vigil. A new way to stay up when you should be sleeping.
It’s for the treatment of “Shift Work Disorder”.
Um, SINCE WHEN IS BEING TIRED BECAUSE YOU WORK ALL FRICKING NIGHT A MEDICAL CONDITION????
Since Teva Pharmaceuticals came up with some concoction that apparently helps some people stay up during the day after they work all night.
Forget about the fact that YOU NEED SLEEP and if you work at night and don’t get any then NATURALLY YOUR BODY WILL REQUIRE SLEEP DURING THE DAY. Yeah, forget about that, that’s the old way of being a human being and working the graveyard shift – now if you are tired during the day after working all night you can be cured of your basic need for sleep by taking this medication!
It also “may cause serious side effects including a serious rash or a serious allergic reaction that may affect parts of your body such as your liver or blood cells, and may result in hospitalization and be life-threatening.”
At least when all of that nasty happens and you need to get to the ER so you don’t F-ING DIE, you’ll be wide awake…
Or maybe you’re not really breaking out in a serious rash due to liver failure at all, it could just be that pesky “sensing things that aren’t really there” side effect…
“Mental (psychiatric) symptoms, including: depression, feeling anxious, sensing things that are not really there, extreme increase in activity (mania), thoughts of suicide, aggression, or other mental problems.”
Quotes taken from the Nuvigil website, if all of this sounds so tempting you want to try some.
I know we want to pop a pill for everything in this pharmaceutical-addicted country but this one just pushes the absurdity over the edge. I see that this medication is also used for people who have apnea and narcolepsy, but SHIFT WORK DISORDER?
If you think you have SHIFT WORK DISORDER or if a “doctor” diagnoses you with SHIFT WORK DISORDER I am here to tell you, YOU ARE JUST BLEEPING TIRED. You do not need a pill, you need to take a nap.
I could stay up and write more but if I do that, I might be tired when it is time to get up in the morning and it isn’t clear yet whether or not Nuvigil can also cure I STAYED UP TOO LATE BLOGGING LAST NIGHT DISORDER.
I will leave you with this little gem I came across while I was looking for a YouTube video of the real commercial. At least I know I am not the only one who thinks this is pure insanity.
Oh, and yes, this IS the real audio of the ad.
Posted by D*ana
My Christmas Tree!
PSYCHE – That’s last year’s. We have to figure out how we are going to keep the little guy (who is now running and grabbing EVERYTHING) away from it before we can put it up.
My brain is suddenly racing with about 100 (ok maybe 6 but that is still a lot) things but I decided to just write this blog because I said I would keep up with it and it’s now been several days.
Just as I went to write this I thought, “I need to post a pic, let me see what I have on my phone that I didn’t post to Facebook yet…”
Then I remembered that my phone died about 3 hours ago while I was watching Rocco stand on his toy basket and dance to George’ Strait’s Cheyanne song. I went to take a picture of him because it’s so stinking cute and it beeped off… and I just never plugged it in. So I gave you a picture of last year’s tree :)
Then it hit me – I should not be sitting down to write a blog when I never got around to digging through the garage for the Elf on the Shelf this week while Kyla was gone. I spent the last couple of days cleaning, like scrubbing the shower, moving the couches to vacuum under them, and moving this enormous hoard of stuff I am selling upstairs because it is taking over the house… so it’s not like I didn’t do anything, I just didn’t get to the Christmas stuff like I had hoped.
Kyla hasn’t even asked about the elf. Not a word. So I can probably get away with not bothering until tomorrow night – plus, she knows it is me anyway and Rocco is too little. I feel like a total slacker – no elf, no tree yet, and of course looking at everyone’s festive Facebook pictures makes me feel even worse about myself… I’m still drinking Pumpkin Spice Lattes and ate the last pumpkin muffin from Thanksgiving tonight. I’m a little behind.
Did you Black Friday shop? I did not. It isn’t so much that I am taking a stand against people having to work on Thanksgiving night (although it is a bit ridiculous), it’s just that I do not at all enjoy fighting through masses of human vultures to get a deal. I do enough bargain shopping (got Rocco 6 pieces of brand name clothing for $8 today at consignment) so when it’s time to buy Christmas gifts I will pay a little more for the things I actually think people will like instead of getting them a 19 inch flat screen just because it’s on sale for $11.99. I mean seriously, how many of you BF shoppers have picked something up for someone just because it’s a doorbuster and he/she is the person on your list most likely to not hate it? And of course there are always the videos of people getting busted up over a pair of $4 panties…
This Wal-Mart employee in Salt Lake City was trampled in the name of $49 tablets.
OK MAYBE I can understand the tablet thing – but TRAMPLED FOR TOWELS?
Who knows what these two women were fighting over at a mall in Vegas when someone whipped out a STUN GUN!?
Thankfully, back in 2006 some concerned citizens put this website together to help us keep track of all of these unfortunate incidents: BlackFridayDeathCount.com
FYI – The NY Post article about the Wal Mart employee being trampled to death was actually from 2008.
One of the best quotes I saw on a video that went around – “Imagine if people got this worked up over stuff that actually mattered.” SO TRUE.
The answer to the title question of this post is a definitive “NO” since I am ready to doze off and there is no way I am venturing to the garage to dig out the Christmas stuff now. Our garage is a bit of a disaster and I would probably have to open it from the outside to go around the heap of junk… Ugh. Someday it’ll get done :)
I haven’t forgotten about the baby product post but I haven’t had a chance to get it all together yet. And once the video issue is fixed (not sure what the problem is!) I have a few things to say about a new pill I’ve been hearing ads for ad nauseam (which is probably one of the side effects BTW)!!
Back to school tomorrow, woot.
Posted by D*ana
Admittedly I’ve been living under a rock for the last several months when it comes to keeping up with celebrities. When I stopped being on the radio full time I shifted my focus to other things so for all I know I’m the only one who thought “WTF?” when I saw Miley Cyrus come on stage last night wearing a cat bikini with a massive kitten singing next to her.
Here are a few things that came to mind:
No, wait… I know what it was…
The only way she could top the aforementioned performances was to show her pussy on stage.
Actually, a quick Google search answered the WTF question – apparently someone made a “Wrecking Ball” parody video using a kitten and then a bunch of other people made kitten videos so Miley was just playing on that.
And then there is this one in which a kitten actually rides a yarn wrecking ball.
Since you haven’t seen enough, here is a cat accompanying Miley on the piano.
Here’s Miley’s performance from the American Music Awards last night. Yes, you can show your children, it’s just Miley and a cute little kitten, awww… see, she’s not so bad!
You can click on the videos to watch them. I have no idea why they are not embedding properly. It may have something to do with the video player code I have installed for the purpose of running ads through my former network. I’ll try to figure it out. In the meantime, thanks for reading and sharing!
Posted by D*ana
Yes, Adam Levine is in FACT the Sexiest Man Alive. Not just People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, but THE Sexiest Man Alive. He is. I’m sorry if you don’t agree, but he just is. I don’t know any women who don’t find him deliciously attractive and if you’re a woman and you don’t want him to eat crackers and leave crumbs in your bed, you’re just not a real woman.
I was pretty shocked to realize today that there are a lot of people who really don’t like Adam Levine.
Actually, there are a lot of people who seem to hate him the way it was cool to hate Nickelback like three years ago. Check out this list of the Top 10 Negative Responses to Adam Levine’s Sexiest Man Alive Title.
My favorite from that list is Jimmy Kimmel’s line:
“He kind of has an unfair advantage. The guy spends his whole week sitting next to CeeLo, who looks like a Cadbury Egg.”
It’s the only one that’s actually funny and not just stupid and hateful. Most of the people making fun of him I’ve never even heard of, nor are they even remotely sexy themselves… Jealous much?
And why didn’t anyone take the obvious dig at him for selling out to K-Mart? I let the whole perfume thing go (you know how he went off about celebrities having their own fragrances and then came out with his own, but said he actually made his smell awesome so it was OK), but the K-Mart thing I am kind of struggling with…
Then I look at this and my struggles seem to fade away…………
Plus, my friend always tells me I am “as loyal as they come” so I’m remaining loyal to Adam Levine even though he’s no better than Kathie Lee Gifford when it comes to making clothes for cheesy department stores.
Now, onto Lamar Odom. Since there’s just no selling any dirty video of him and Khloe Kardashian we get this instead.
Lamar, allegedly all cracked out, rapping about cheating on her. Oh, and he raps about his fragrance – he’s got one too.
I can’t embed the video, you can go here to watch it.
I have another post brewing about yet another baby product that has been recalled due to IDIOT PARENT ERROR but I’m going to save that one for later.
Posted by D*ana
I did the gluten-free thing for 3.5 days. Then I felt like crap. Now, it could have been the half bottle of wine I drank last night that made me feel all fatigued and gross, but I blamed the lack of carbs and sugar and chowed down on some Annie’s organic bunny cheese crackers this afternoon. I know that lack of gluten did not make me feel sick, but I am so used to stuffing my face with all kinds of crap I think I was just hungry and didn’t have anything gluten-free and quick to fill me up so before I fainted I caved. Then I was going to jump back on the wagon and make a healthy dinner but Rick suggested pizza so I went for it. I even had some soda too, which I rarely drink. I think my problem with trying to be gluten-free is that I need to buy a whole bunch of other stuff to snack on that doesn’t have gluten in it. Or maybe I should just significantly lower the amount of wheat & sugar I eat instead of housing a 12 pack of Target cookies in 2 days. Anyway, I’m gluten-full and alcohol-free tonight.
About that rash… I have been using Dreft ever since Rocco was born (15 months ago today!) so I haven’t had any itchy-scratchy issues from laundry detergent in a while. I kind of forgot about the hives I used to wake up with on occasion and used Tide on my clothes the other day. In fact, I did several loads of my laundry in Tide, and now I have to do it all over again because that stuff gives me such a rash I might as well rub poison ivy all over my skin!! A number of people suggested All Free & Clear so I will pick that up next time. The hives were so bad this morning I was itching all over and some of the bumps were the size of my hand!! I freaked out for a minute until I remembered what I had done. Not bed bugs, not an allergic reaction from lack of gluten, it’s the freaking detergent. Of course I posted a Facebook status about waking up with hives from Tide. Then at the Thanksgiving Feast (see below) my friend says to me, in front of a bunch of other moms I don’t know, “so how are the hives doing?” Hahahhaa… Yeah, about that rash… Gotta love sharing every little mundane detail of life on Facebook!!
I hate science fair projects. We actually had a pretty good idea but it didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. I probably should have thought better about how we did it in the first place, and then of course we ended up waiting until the night before to type it all up and get it done. Since I am obsessed with clothes my idea was to test different stain removers to see which worked best. We used Oxi-Clean, vinegar, and peroxide (because I heard that those home remedies worked) and not only did the Oxi Clean work much better than the other two, the “control” shirt that didn’t get treated with anything actually washed better than the ones we soaked in vinegar and peroxide! I think the Oxi Clean had an unfair advantage because you soak the whole shirt in that mixed with water, and the peroxide and vinegar you just dab the stuff on the shirt.. I wish I had soaked all three or come up with different stuff to test and maybe we would have gotten a better result. Oh well, after some whining and yelling it’s done and hopefully she gets a good grade.
Rocco’s child care center had their Thanksgiving feast today. I went to help but I felt like crap so I just cut some bread and dished out some cranberry sauce and sat down. Rocco tried to eat corn on the cob for the first time, after dipping it in his mashed potatoes. He ate one green bean and a few little bites of cranberry sauce. No turkey, but I know he likes turkey because we eat it at home all the time. He even knows how to ask for it in sign language. Well, the sign he knows is for chicken but same thing. I have a video of him doing it, I will have to try to upload it to YouTube and figure out if I can still code it into a blog post. It’s been a while ;)
I love Harajuku Mini clothes and would like to know when Gwen Stefani is going to work on a new line for boys at Target. We have a few outfits but he outgrew some and believe it or not they are hard to find for a decent price on eBay.
There he is in one of his Harajuku rompers.
So yesterday’s post got like 50-something shares. I am astonished that 50 people even read this let alone share it since I’ve slacked off for so long.
I gotta go, I am hosting playgroup tomorrow and my house is a mess. I don’t think too many people are coming, Rocco has a bit of a runny nose so it is “come at your own risk” this week. Some of the babies already have the funk so I’ll just put some tissues out and we can have a snot-wiping fest over coffee and pumpkin muffins that I still have to make.