I Spilled Wine All Over Myself at 7 O’Clock This Morning

I hope falling down the stairs and spilling wine all over myself at 7am is not going to dictate how this Tuesday will go.

Now before you get all Judgey McJudgersons on me, I WAS NOT ACTUALLY DRINKING AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.

It would be really easy for someone to take that headline and hop up on a high internet horse and question what I was doing with a glass of wine in my hand at 7 o’clock in the morning though, wouldn’t it? That’s what we all love to do… read the headline and assume the absolute worst.

That Dana, she’s a drunk! Who drinks at 7am? I’m known to have a glass or five after my kids go to bed but NEVER before noon! What is WRONG with her? Does she drive to work after drinking all of that wine every morning? I mean, I get that traffic sucks but that’s just CRAZY. Take her kids away. Throw her in jail!

Anyway, obviously, I was not actually drinking the wine this morning.

I was carrying the glass of Pinot Grigio I half-drank last night downstairs to the kitchen when I lost my balance and fell. I was carrying my phone, Rocco’s empty water cup, and my charger too, so I wasn’t holding the railing. Funny that all weekend I reminded Rocco to “hold the railing” as he walked up the steps to the water slide, and then I don’t hold the railing and take a digger this morning.

Side note: I only half-drank the glass of wine because I’m actually a big poser and I try to look like a big wine drinking bad ass mama on Snapchat, but in reality, I’m a responsible adult. I only had a few sips and then that annoying voice in my head that tells me I have to “adult” tomorrow started yapping at me and I stopped.

So yeah, I drank half a glass of wine last night and still managed to fall on my ass this morning.

I don’t even know how it happened either. The stairs are carpeted and I was barefoot so it’s not like I really slipped. I just missed a step and BOOM!

Thankfully the glass did not drop and shatter everywhere. And thankfully the wine was white, not red, so it did not stain the carpet or my new white pants.

I have been shaming myself lately for gaining some weight but this morning I am thankful for all of the cushioning because it probably saved me from dislocating my tail bone!

Now I wonder if I am going to be sore. I can still feel a pain in my lower back and even though I’m always a crooked mess I definitely think I should go see a chiropractor to put everything back in line.

So that’s how my day is going so far.

I am asking around to find someone to make this blog look a little nicer. I know I’ve said it over and over but for realz this time.

About 6 months ago I thought I’d found a fellow radio person to help but he totally ditched me. We chatted back and forth about my budget, he seemed to be fine with it, I sent him what I wanted, and then… crickets. I don’t know if something I said rubbed him the wrong way, or if he heard something bad about me and decided he didn’t want to help me, or if he just got busy and realized he didn’t have time… But a “sorry I can’t help you” would have been nice.

I’m sure it was the time thing… But I hate how that voice in my head always tells me “it’s you, there is something wrong with you, he doesn’t like you.”

More on that in an upcoming post.

That’s all I got for now… Hopefully I don’t fall on my ass again today!

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