I have been finding it more and more difficult to write, to comment, to be myself lately.
Not in my “real” life, but “publicly” meaning online, on social media, on the radio.
I feel like we’ve reached a point where everything offends someone. Everything that isn’t all roses and sweet is “judging” or “bullying” or “offensive.”
I feel like recently there have been a few situations that I’d love to speak up about but I can’t. Some of them are just little things, others are bigger… And this feeling like I can’t speak my mind is starting to really affect me.
Anyone who knows me in real life and those who have followed me on the radio/this website/social media for a while knows that I have never really held back my feelings. I know sometimes this rubbed people the wrong way or turned them off completely, but I also think putting myself out there attracted people to me and now I’ve become stale.
A situation arose a few weeks ago and it got me really fired up. I witnessed a mom blogger who has “ins” with some famous people completely rip apart a mom in one of the clothing groups I’m in. It was terribly mean and uncalled for. I wanted to stand up to her… So I did. And it backfired. I won’t get into it any further but let me just say that people are not always what they portray themselves to be online and on social media and what this young lady did to another mom was vicious and cruel and completely wrong.
The fact that I couldn’t speak my mind about something that many people witnessed and knew was wrong, the fact that I was stifled and quieted and hushed up because I stood up to someone, really upset me. It’s not anyone’s fault, it just bothers me.
I can not even post a meme comparing Kim Kardashian in a black and white outfit to an orca without being called a body shamer!!
I can not take it anymore!!
Now there’s another situation that I am DYING to comment on… I have a lot to say, some of it is fact and some of it is pure speculation based on what I believe to be true, but I can not say anything!!
I’ve seen so many people comment freely on this, some people are saying things that are completely false, some people are saying things out of spite and bitterness, and I have to remain quiet. In fact, I know there are many other people who are much closer to the situation than I am and they all have to bite their tongues for various reasons. It is not a good feeling. Regardless of time, space, circumstances, we all feel compelled to say something when we see a wrong being done. It just plain sucks when you have to hold it in.
Again, it’s not anyone’s fault that I can’t say anything… I’m just in a position where it would be highly inappropriate on a number of levels for me to put my 2 cents in.
I’ve also reached a point where I am so concerned about how my opinion will be perceived that I just don’t say anything. Again, someone got upset because I shared a meme about Kim Kardashian. We can’t even poke fun at Kim Kardashian anymore without being told that we are perpetuating bullying.
Whatever the case is, I feel trapped.
So let me just repeat what I said before and what I said on Snapchat earlier today… People say everything online and on social media through a filter. They show you the roses. They show you the pretty. They show you the sweet. They show you baking cookies and playing with puppies.
They even let you think they’re showing the ugly sometimes… But even that ugly is through a filter.
We all do this to some degree, some of us without even realizing it.
But there are some who are calculated and manipulative and they do it purposefully… and they fool people.
Don’t fall for it.
Don’t form your opinion about a person or a situation based on what you are seeing through the carefully placed filter… Some little monsters are much bigger than they seem.
I wish I could just spill what I want to say but hopefully some of this makes sense.
I haven’t bothered with this blog because I have felt this way for a while, I think I’ve even mentioned it in other posts… I no longer feel like I can say what’s on my mind, honestly and openly, because I am sick of being criticized for it.
I miss spilling my guts, maybe I just need a new approach.
Or maybe I just need to find the right filter…