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Impatiently Waiting…

Waiting, waiting on the world to change… John Mayer.

Anyway, yeah, do you ever feel like you are just waiting for something? You do everything you can to make sure that thing you want comes to be, but the longer you wait the more frustrated you get? And then you start to think that thing is just never going to happen. And then you start to question whether or not you should actually bother waiting for it anymore…

Such is life.

“It’s going to happen,” they say.

“Soon, just be patient,” they say.

“Don’t give up, just hang in there,” they say.

I am not getting any younger.

So tonight I am pondering, when do you start moving in a different direction? How do you KNOW it’s time to just focus your energy on something else? Maybe the things you thought were meant to be just aren’t. You know you did things different, better, little, yellow, different, better, this time, and still, we go in circles.

Then you start to doubt yourself because if it was really what you thought it was it would be going your way, not flopping around gasping for air.

When this passion for this thing starts to dwindle away, and it’s not for lack of really loving it but it’s just not rewarding… Not fulfilling… And then the seeming failure of it becomesĀ self-fulfilling because of the vicious cycle of trying and getting excited and being let down. Over and over. Why bother?

It’s not for lack of effort, lack of caring, or lack of believing in what you are doing… It’s just that not everything is in our control and we can only do what we can do to get to that point… If you know you’ve given your all and you get to a point where you think you’ve been pushing and pushing and you just want to focus the energy on something else that might actually pay off… You make that decision to say eff this, I’m going to do that.

With every situation, relationship, job, period of time, chapter, there is that breaking point. When do you know it’s time? And where do you go from there? Do you completely bow out or try to find the energy and hope and drive to go at it again just from a different angle?

Does this make sense?

I don’t know… and I’m sure the vague approach here will make sense to some and others will think I’m talking about something that I’m just not talking about, but in life there comes a time when certain things just need to become part of your past when you realize they’re not your future.

That is all for tonight.