Facebook-10

Facebook is 10 years old today.

So here are 10 things I never want to see you post on Facebook ever again:

1. Your naked children.  Boys or girls, 1 or 8, most people on Facebook do not want to see your children naked – or even in their underwear.  I know you think what they are doing is cute, and it probably is since you are their parents, but those pictures just don’t need to be shared with everyone on your friends list.  They just don’t.

2. Your child’s poopie in the potty or puke all over the floor.  Shit happens.  And when it happens in the potty for the first time it is extremely exciting.  Worthy of celebration.  In fact I even celebrate every time Rocco sits on  his little potty and reads a book even though he has yet to actually do anything on that potty.  He does it in his diaper 5 minutes later but that is irrelevant.  Nobody wants to see your kid’s poopie.  We also don’t want to see their puke.  You can tell us the kid blew chunks but please spare us the sight of the actual vomit.

3. Pictures and videos of dead/abused animals.  I eat chicken.  I eat a lot of chicken.  I try to buy chicken that was not abused now that I have read about what happens to animals, but seeing the dead carcasses just makes me want to block it out.  And it’s gross.  There are just some things that are too graphic for Facebook.  I see plenty of graphic pictures of things that make me angry but I just don’t post them.  Please stop with the bloody animals.

4. Pictures and videos of abused children.  You know what, I know child abuse exists.  We all know this.  If I see or hear about a child in danger I will call the authorities.  I think most of us with a good conscience would do what we could to prevent a child from being harmed.  I do not need you to share the latest story of a mother murdering her baby or a video of a child being beaten to know that this type of atrocity exists.  I just don’t want to see it.  Sharing it does not do anything for that child but it does give attention to the perpetrators.  It also causes other people who are just going about their day to be overcome with a feeling of disgust and sadness.  Spare us, don’t share it.

5. Your relationship drama.  Been there done that.  I put a lot of my relationship and other drama on Facebook in the past.  It only served to make me look crazy and it made me look like a real fool when I got back together with the person once I told everyone what a douche he was.  I will occasionally comment on my personal experience in a private group, but bashing your significant other, or your ex-for-now, or the other parent if you share a child, is just bad.  Also, if you are constantly moving from one relationship to the next… We just don’t need to know.  We also don’t need to CONSTANTLY see how fantastic and wonderful your significant other is, especially when we know that behind the scenes it is a different story.  Don’t be someone else’s “Days of Our Facebook Lives” source of entertainment.

6. Ambiguous posts.  “I can’t say why or where or how right now but I really need all the prayers I can get” posts just make people wonder.  Yes they’ll hope everything is OK and pray for you if they pray, but then you leave them thinking “what the hell is going on?” and possibly thinking the worst and that’s just irritating and rude!  If you can’t reveal the information to EVERYONE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST then text someone you trust and spill it instead of leaving everyone wondering and worrying.

7. Bodily fluids, cuts, rashes, or anything you need Doctor Facebook to diagnose.  Kyla has a pretty gross boo-boo on her knee (she fell off her bike) and I am a little concerned about how it is healing… will be taking her to the doctor soon if it doesn’t look better… But I will not post a picture of it on Facebook because it’s gross!  Boogers, blood, busted finger nails, broken bones, if it needs medical attention ask for a nurse to PM you.  Before you post a picture like this on Facebook your thought should be: Would I want to see this while I was eating?  Because chances are someone who will see it just sat down to eat!

8. More than 25% of your posts solely to promote your business.  I have used Facebook to promote radio shows, my website, and things I am selling on eBay/Facebook but unless you are running a business page please try to limit the amount of posts you make about your business.  Half my friends are doing the same thing, and some of them are selling the same thing you are, and I like seeing your personal posts but there are just some products I am never going to buy no matter how many times they show up in my news feed.  There is nothing wrong with social networking but I like the “social” part of Facebook a lot more than the “networking” part when it comes to ads for things I see over and over and over and over again.

9. Game and app invites.  I know sometimes this happens automatically when you sign up but I have no desire to play any of these games or use any Facebook apps.  I choose to waste my time on Facebook debating things or going through random people’s pictures, I don’t play games.

10. Racist or homophobic sentiments.  You are entitled to your opinion.  You are entitled to your religion.  But it is 2014 and anyone who still believes in racial inequality or inequality based on which gender one happens to be attracted to needs to shut up.  There are plenty of issues with two or more legitimate sides to debate, but only fellow ignorant people want to hear about your bigoted beliefs.  You are never going to convince people to stop believing in human equality.

 

10 Things to Keep Right On Posting…

1. Cute pictures of your kids, you, the fun stuff you are doing, as long as everyone is fully clothed and not covered in yucky bodily fluids.  I like looking at pictures of happy people.

2. Informational articles.  I know some people don’t want to read stuff about GMOs, vaccines, government waste, the environment, Fukishima, and other important matters but if I can say one positive thing about my experience using Facebook it is that I have LEARNED a lot.  Whether you agree with my opinions on certain topics or not, it is through the sharing of information on Facebook that has led me to investigate and “self-educate” with regard to parenting, government, health, my overall view of the world, and even less important things like the other side of the Woody Allen-Mia Farrow molestation debate.  It’s great how you can post something and someone else can give you a different side of the story and then you can decide for yourself which one makes more sense.  So if it is informative, well written, researched, and seemingly legitimate, keep sharing it.

3. Your accomplishments.  I like reading about people I care about getting promotions, graduating, or losing weight.  I also love hearing about kids making honor roll or seeing pictures of their dance recitals.  Keep posting that stuff.  The only exception to this would be constantly telling us that you went to the gym/worked out.  Not to hate, but it makes me feel lazy.

4. Those someecards things.  They are funny.  Some of them are funnier than others but usually they are pretty good.

5. Pictures of the snow and ice.  I live in Florida.  My back slider is open so the fresh 76 degree air can breeze through the house.  Sometimes I get a little homesick and wish I still lived up north and those miserable pictures remind me of why I love living here.

6. Truth.  Whatever it is you believe to be true, and important, keep posting it respectfully.  You never know when you might change someone’s mind for the better.

7. Tributes/posts to the dead.  I know some people might think it is cheesy, but I think after 10 years of Facebook we probably all have a friend or two who has passed.  In those initial moments of shock and sadness the Facebook page is a way for all of the loved ones to come together in mourning and share information.  I have even re-connected with people after seeing that a mutual friend has passed away.  Nobody wants to see the sad news on Facebook but at the same time, what is the other option these days?  Unless it is a close family member you may not even know until years later if you hadn’t keep in touch this way.  I occasionally look at the pages of my friends who have passed and read the recent comments or look at old pictures.  It’s like visiting a grave only not as depressing.  Nothing wrong with remembering someone you loved and keeping them alive on Facebook forever.

8. Pictures of your life tricks and home improvement projects.  I like to see crafty stuff or get new ideas.  Not that I have the money, time, or motivation to put most of them into action but we got the idea to put a laundry basket in the bath tub from a Facebook post and it worked well for us for a bit.  I also got some inspiration for Rocco’s room from someone else’s pictures on Facebook.

9. GOOD NEWS.  Feel good stories, whatever they may be, are much needed to offset all of the horrifying stuff people insist on posting as mentioned in list above.

10.  Pictures of your yummy food and drink – but only if you have the recipe.  I know this is one of the things people make fun of others for doing on Facebook, but I actually like seeing pictures of other people’s food!  I only want to see it if I can get the recipe though.  I’ve seen lots of food pictures on Facebook that have led to me getting the recipe and eating something new.  I don’t need to see a picture of your Cheerios but if you just made something healthy and tasty (or just tasty) I might want to try it!