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I just love the smell of fresh baby puke first thing in the morning!

Seriously, the first thing I heard this morning was, “Rocco barfed!”

Of course I’m thinking a little bit of baby spit up even though that never happens anymore (he’s 15 months) but Kyla said “no, mom, like he BARFED everywhere.”

Yeah, he did and OH EM GEE IT STUNK.

It was everywhere.

And it was chunky.

It actually didn’t even look all that disgusting because it was mostly undigested carrots, chicken, pasta, and a few strawberries.  It was on the crib rail, all over the sheets, in his hair, on his stuffed monkeys, on the rug, I have no idea how that much food was even inside his little belly but there it was.  If not for the stench it would have been just like picking up spilled food but like I said, it REEKED.

So I’m standing there in that moment of “where do I even start cleaning this mess up?” at the same time panicking because Kyla has to be at school in 20 minutes and not only do I not have time to get it all cleaned up before we have to leave but then I’m thinking what if he hurls again and then I have a puke-mess all over my car too??

Just as I was thinking I should call Rick and see if he can come get Kyla to drop her off at school Rocco starts putting his hands in the puke so I picked him up… Straight to the tub… and as I carried him chunks were falling off him… He smeared chunks all over the toilet bowl lid and I had to get Kyla to bring me the wipes to clean it off.

Meanwhile, he is acting like nothing is wrong.  He actually tried to dive into the tub like he usually does because he loves the bath.  Meanwhile all I am thinking is please do not let him puke again, and please do not let this be a stomach bug, and please do not let me puke… because by this time the stink is getting to me and I am completely nauseous.

I got him out of the tub and brought a diaper to the living room because his room smelled so foul I couldn’t stand to be in there another minute.

Once he was all set I called Rick to come get Kyla and he agreed.

I didn’t know what to do with him even though he seemed to be feeling fine so I grabbed a big sheet and decided we’d hang out and play in the living room and I’d give him a cracker or something in a little bit instead of a big egg breakfast just in case he was going to yak again.  I grabbed the sheet so just in case he puked I could put it down and it wouldn’t get on the rug.  I don’t think a 15 month old would know what to do if I handed him a bucket and said, “if you’re gonna spew, spew into this.”

A little while later I decided to tackle the chunks all over his room.  I had to pick up the pieces first because it was so chunky I didn’t want to just throw it all in the washing machine and then have to clean up all of the food that didn’t wash away… I put on my dishwashing gloves and grabbed some paper towels and held my breath and picked up the chunks as best I could, of course dropping little bits here and there… I thought I got it all and lifted the mattress to pull the sheets off and more bits fell onto the mattress, UGH.  I picked all that up, wiped the mattress down, and shoved the sheets and the mattress pad in the washer, on hot, as a few more little pukey pieces fell on the floor.  Then I had to wipe down the sides of the crib, pick the ick out of the rug, check his stuffed monkeys for spewage, put his puke-jamas in the wash too, wipe the toilet lid with bleach cleaner, and make sure he didn’t manage to get it on anything else.

Then I started thinking, how did I not hear him barfing this all up on the baby monitor?  His fussing even just a little bit in the middle of the night wakes me up but he managed to blow the entire contents of his stomach all over his crib and I didn’t hear a thing???  Then I started to think “what if he pukes again and I don’t hear and he chokes on his own vomit” but I had to just put that out of my head!!!  I really don’t know how I didn’t hear him though.

I also have a feeling that even though I meticulously tried to get every last bit of puke-chunk cleaned out of his room, the bathroom, and the laundry room, I am going to find something later and wonder “is this puke-carrot or just a carrot that I missed when I cleaned him up after dinner?”

And I still don’t know why he puked.  Maybe something he ate.  Maybe he just ate too much.  Maybe he had a little stomach bug but it went away after one good chunk blowing and nobody else caught it?  Knock on wood of course because if I wake up puking tomorrow I am going to be really pissed off… especially since I skipped doing any eBay shipping today just in case he got sick again so I have to get it all done tomorrow.

I realized at some point that I never even had any coffee today.  I have coffee EVERY day.  After smelling vomit and thinking I might end up puking too I had no desire to eat or drink anything so I just went the whole day without it.  I did take a nap when he took a nap… and of course I GOT CAUGHT.  I really don’t take naps all that often but when I do it always seems to be on a day when Rick decides to come home for a little while (to take a nap himself) and then it looks like I just nap every day when the baby naps and I really don’t.

Other things I accomplished today besides cleaning up a bedroom full of vomit – I cleaned out the refrigerator.  And I don’t just mean I got rid of all the expired cheese and moldy jam, I took everything out and scrubbed the shelves in the sink and put that sucker back together.  Whoever designs refrigerators needs to actually clean a fridge one day and make some improvements in how they come apart.  There’s gotta be a better way than the one that requires banging around plastic and tempered glass while gritting your teeth!

I need to go to bed.

Long day of packing and shipping tomorrow!