Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to be called “Lindsay Lohan”

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

We were actually starting to like you.  You were out of the spotlight, out of the courtroom, and aside from the alleged jewelery theft, we haven’t heard a peep out of you.  That’s the way we like it.  There was hope for you.

Way to screw it up!

Now you come out and announce that you want to only be known as “Lindsay” and NOT “Lindsay Lohan.”

Who do you think you are?  Madonna?  Listen you annoying drunk:

You’re like that crazy attention craving chick at a party who gets piss drunk, shows all the guys your boobs, and then spends the rest of the night puking in the bathroom with the creepy guy who thinks he’s still going to get some.

Stop it.  You’re not Prince, nor are you Madonna or Beyonce.  You’re not even Amy Winehouse.  You’re a bigger mess than Charlie Sheen.  If Amy Winehouse and Charlie Sheen had a kid together, the kid would still be less of a mess than you.  Listen you goofy little finger-painter: Clean up your life, learn to act, and THEN get the big ego.

Seriously, your attitude is extremely unattractive.  Nobody likes you except the creepy guys in Hollywood who think they have a chance with you.

Oh and by the way:  If your limo is late to pick you up from JFK airport, you’re probably not a big enough celebrity to just go by “Lindsay.”  Just sayin’.

AAR/Fame Pictures