Martin & Kathy Holmes – Katie’s parents – went to see her performance in “All My Sons” this weekend.  They just look like a sweet couple from Ohio with a daughter who happened to marry the movie star she dreamed about marrying when she was a teenager under their roof.  So bizarre.  They must just laugh about it… or something.  So weird!

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There were a couple of days following the VMAs on which Britney Spears looked really well put together, but she’s back to wearing her hair a hot mess and sporting dirty clothes.  There’s a spot on her shirt.

She’s arriving back at LAX and had police escorts out of the airport – because she HAS TO!

Photos: Splash News Online

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Oh no!  Heather Locklear!  Denise Richards must be having a field day with this… Heather was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated last night.  I guess Richie Sambora wasn’t the only drunk in the marriage!

Actually, alcohol wasn’t a factor – they think she was messed up on prescription drugs!  Maybe too many anxiety pills?

Did Jack Wagner bail her out?

No, she didn’t have to post bail.  She was let go on her own recognizance.

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Christina Aguilera is to Linda Hogan what Amy Winehouse is to a corpse… looking more and more like it every day… it’s really not funny anymore Christina.  The lipstick was bad enough, now what is this caked on orange bronzer and bleach blonde with bangs cheesy damaged hair?  Is she trying to look unattractive?

Maybe she has insanely bad acne or something and she’s trying to cover it up – but I doubt it.  She is definitely not over her insecurity issues to be wearing that much make up every time she leaves the house.  It’s disgusting.

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Will Smith celebrated his 40th birthday with his family and friends… at his son’s football game.  Everyone got together and had a plane fly over with a message for him!  How sweet!

Photos: Splash News Online

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Violet Affleck fell and went boom at the park with mama!  I wonder if she realllly needs a band-aid??  My kid gets the tiniest mark on her and demands a band-aid, and then insists upon having the character of her choice on the band-aid, she is damn spoiled.  I’ve been having to keep my little nugget in check lately, but we played paper dolls today and we’re going on a little road trip tomorrow morning so it’s all good… She just gets so damn out of line.

Anyway, I figure since I’m posting pictures of Jennifer Garner’s screaming child with a boo-boo I might as well share a little of my mommy drama too.

I love JenGar and ViAf (OK that makes no sense but whatever), and I even love how Jen is wearing jeans that are entirely too big and akward on her – she’s at that stage where she doesn’t quite want to wear maternity jeans or something, are those Ben’s jeans?  Is she pulling a Katie?  Please tell me Jennifer Garner isn’t biting on Katie Holmes’ denim disaster style!

This is how the jean pegging started with Katie… first baggy with the cuffs rolled, and then it kind of morphed into a tightrollarama!!

Anyway, I’m on one of my ridiculous tangents that nobody reads.  Back to downloading pictures.  I really wish I could hire someone to download the photos for me, it is so time consuming!

OH, and one more thing, when is a celebrity going to design a line of maternity clothes??  Wasn’t Nicole Richie going to do that?  But that would be maternity clothes for anorexic teenagers – I’m talking about a real woman… Maybe Gwen Stefani and J-Lo could get together?

Photos: Splash News Online

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Ooooh so exciting, ANOTHER Pirates of the Caribbean movie is about to start filming.  You can’t get enough of Jack Sparrow I guess.  I for one can not stand those movies, that dude with the snake head is too creepy and I don’t like pirate movies (except for The Goonies – Goonies NEVER SAY DIE!)…

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Amy Winehouse just keeps looking more and more like death.  In fact, I have seen dead people who look more alive than her.  I think I’ve said that before, but there really is no other way to describe her ghastly appearance.  Even ghastly doesn’t seem harsh enough.  She couldn’t even trick or treat looking like that she would scare everyone…

Actually, I wonder if anyone will come out with an Amy Winehouse mask this year!  That would be FUN!  My sister was Amy last year for Halloween, she pulled it off really well but this year she’d have to look even more LIKE DEATH.

I don’t know how she can be with us much longer… look at her legs, the cuts all over her, her nose, her crusty face… SICK SICK SICK DON’T DO DRUGS!!!

I love how they say she is “sick” – she is CRACKED OUT YO!

Oh, and I guess it would be one thing if she was returning home this much of a mess, but this is her leaving the house to go PERFORM!!!!

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