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Yeah f*cking right.

I don’t believe an ounce of this story for a minute… But News of the World is reporting that Britney Spears is in the final stages of adopting twin 6 year old boys from China. 

Actually, maybe that isn’t so far fetched… they keep poisoning our kids so why wouldn’t they send their own off  to live with Britney?

Seriously though, Chinese adoption standards aside, Britney doesn’t even have the  mental capacity to launder her own clothes, how the hell would she ever go about the adoption process?

This same “source” also alleges that Britney has spent over $50,000 planning her own funeral in the event that she dies… she wants everything to  be in order… probably because nobody else would take care of her if she croaked – she’s pushed everyone out of  her life!!

Yes, I’m drunk tonight… on HATERADE BITCHES!!!